I encourage you, my sisters, to break that habit! There are a lot of barriers of awkwardness and embarrassment around talking about sex. Articles , Posts Tagged With: But in any relationship, whether for one night or many years, there are things about which you do need to communicate. Step lightly as you gain your footing in the conversation.
Planning means lists and schedules, and who wants that in the bedroom? Start with a promise. Have a sense of humor. But when it comes to talking about sex with your spouse, the personal, private and vulnerable nature of the topic can, if not handled well, cause a conversation to feel more like a stress test than a good discussion. Threatening your spouse is not the best way to do that. Sex is spontaneous and passionate! When were you last tested for STIs, and what were the results? It assumes that all men and all women have the same turn-ons, pleasure centers, and anatomy — and that only men and women exist in the first place. No two people want the same things, have the same fantasies, or want to be touched in the same ways. Which STIs were you tested for? What were the STI statuses of those partners? Promise to listen to what she has to say and ask her to do the same, addressing feelings and words. Are you open to the possibility of pregnancy? Spouses who focus on blame are too wrapped up in looking backwards. When you raise the issue, reassure your spouse that you do not want to hurt or tear them down, but want to build a better sexual relationship together. What birth control precautions do you want to use? Off by yourself, make a list of the things you like to do Yes! Any good conversation needs dialogue, not just a series of true or false questions. It means affirming that our desires and boundaries matter — and so do the desires and boundaries of our partners. Promise to listen completely before responding. And be gentle while treading lightly. What is your history of STI infection? You can print out pictures of bodies and draw on them. Allow them to ask you questions, and do your best to answer them all honestly and without getting defensive. Agree to be honest and open with one another. Plan and Brainstorm At first, the idea of planning sounds pretty un-sexy. The more positive, honest, and straight-forward you can be, the more positively your partner will hear you.
Video about talking to your wifee about sex:
Talk sex: How to discuss sexual fantasies with your partner
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