If Massachusetts rules that it is, then gay couples across America will be able to marry not only in Canada where there are no residency or nationality requirements for marriage but also in a bona fide American state. Certainly since AIDS, to be gay and to be responsible has become a necessity. Like most other homosexuals, I grew up in a heterosexual family and tried to imagine how I too could one day be a full part of the family I loved. Gay marriage could only delegitimize straight marriage if it were a real alternative to it, and this is clearly not true. The Roman Catholic Church, for example, opposes remarriage after divorce. For the Stonewall generation, it is hard to see how this vision of conflict will ever fundamentally change. This priority is not necessarily a product of heterosexism. That alternative is the legalization of civil gay marriage. But it doesn't seek to make civil divorce and remarriage illegal for everyone.
Even in our society as it is, many lesbian relationships are virtual textbook cases of monogamous commitment. It could bring the essence of gay life—a gay couple—into the heart of the traditional straight family in a way the family can most understand and the gay offspring can most easily acknowledge. Andrew Sullivan in in New York City. Marriage, for them, is co-optation into straight society. Sullivan gave Slate permission to reprint his New Republic essay in full. Much of the gay leadership clings to notions of gay life as essentially outsider, anti-bourgeois, radical. Eventually, accordng to gay lobby groups, the aim is to include federal income tax and veterans' benefits as well. The argument that gay marriage would subtly undermine the unique legitimacy of straight marriage is based upon a fallacy. No wonder it was hard to connect sex with love and commitment. But gay marriage is not a radical step. The New York rent-control case did not go anywhere near that far, which is the problem. It's one of the richest ironies of our society's blind spot toward gays that essentially conservative social goals should have the appearance of being so radical. It amounts to a substantial invasion of privacy. The Roman Catholic Church, for example, opposes remarriage after divorce. It provides role models for young gay people who, after the exhilaration of coming out, can easily lapse into short-term relationships and insecurity with no tangible goal in sight. So they find it hard to conceive how deep a psychic and social wound the exclusion from marriage and family can be. But they don't need to have a sexual relationship or even closely mirror old-style marriage. To be sure, potential DPs have to prove financial interdependence, shared living arrangements, and a commitment to mutual caring. Supreme Court is due to rule any day now on whether it's legal for Texas and other states to prosecute sodomy among gays but not straights. Who's winning, who's losing, and why. For the Stonewall generation, it is hard to see how this vision of conflict will ever fundamentally change. They have never doubted that one day they could marry the person they love. It merely asks that gays be allowed to join in. No wonder it was hard to feel at home in what was, in fact, my home. Similarly, churches can well decide this matter in their own time and on their own terms while allowing the government to be neutral between competing visions of the good life. Gay marriage could only delegitimize straight marriage if it were a real alternative to it, and this is clearly not true.
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Christopher Hitchens and Andrew Sullivan - On gay marriage and Christianity 
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